I love to be useful!

February 28, 2019/0/0

I love to be useful. I love overcoming myself and the first step, when you hesitate whether to do it or not, because what if I would do something wrong. Amazing feeling when you do the same job as a farmer. Banal things like when he lets you cut banana tree with a machete for chicken, separate grain from the corn by beating, or when he teaches you how to drive a scooter and even though he worries about me when I try all these activities, he lets me and that is important for me. He wants to teach me because he knows I want to and he trusts me. But it wasn´t always like that, every relationship has to be developed.

Remember there was a time when I was so stressed out of broking an egg not on the pan, but under it and I was depressed because of it for two days. I assumed I was useless in the eyes of my host family. Now all of us laugh about it, but at that moment I didn´t feel good about it. I was angry at myself that I couldn´t even break the egg on the pan. Haha. I couldn‘t overcome those high self-requirements. I was always scared I would do some mistake and that was, as we all know, the biggest mistake. And when you are the only stranger in the village that has ever lived and taught there, people know about every of your moves, everything you have done, what have you eaten, who have you been talking to, what have you been doing and probably even what you´re going to do.

A chicken was killed on the Valentine’s Day, the farmer wanted me to kill it. But I refused to do so, and rather plucked its feathers with farmer’s wife and ate it with whole host family. Then came the fun part that all Cambodians love. Karaoke! I didn´t hesitate and sang the song Lady Karneval from Karel Gott and a song from Barbora Poláková, which they were totally thrilled by.

Day after the Valentine’s Day we went to a wedding. I have so dirty feet I ask Dany whether she has some closed-toed shoes to lend me, because the only shoes I have here are sandals. Guests are sitting and waiting at the ceremony in the narrow line for the bride and the groom to appear. I am sitting as the penultimate one, so I will see them as one of the firsts. Next to me sits a man in pink clothes from a group of four other men also wearing pink clothes. I take him for one of the groomsmen. We’re talking about what I’m doing here, how long I plan to stay here, where we both are from and what are we doing. Then he asks me if I have facebook, I say yes, but I do not have a cell phone with me right now. I do not support collecting fb friends who you don’t know well. Then he puts his cell phone in my hand and asks for my name. OK. Suddenly, an elderly man bangs loudly several times on a drum; a beautifully dressed bride comes in. The man in pink gets up and joins her and they continue together. A minute before a wedding ceremony a groom has time to do a lot of things, haha.

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